Stop the Bullying!

The term “bullying” is one that is thrown around quite often. You hear about it in the media, schools, playgrounds and basically anywhere and everywhere you go. However, what does it really mean? What actually constitutes bullying? Essentially, bullying is multi-faceted, and all these different components bring with them many unique problems. It is the contention of this article that in order to stop bullying, the many different types of this behaviour, and the various participants need to be fully understood and addressed. Knowledge brings with it great power and thus the ability to change negatives into positives. A full understanding of the complexity of bullying can go a long way in stopping, or at least greatly reducing the problem.
What actually is bullying? How is it defined? According to the article, “Shaping Safer Schools, 2005” bullying is a “dynamic of unhealthy interaction. It is a form of repeated aggression used from a position of power. It can be physical, verbal or social.” Basically, it is a deliberate act to hurt another and put them into a stressful situation. Quite often people associate bullying with mainly physical and verbal oppression. Pushing others, calling them names, tripping them, stuffing them into lockers at school. However, physical bullying does exist, but it is by no means the most prevalent type of bullying. Indeed, social bullying has turned into the “bullying of the future”. This can include factors such as gossiping, exclusion, spreading rumours, and the huge new realm of Internet bullying tactics more commonly referred to as cyber bullying. With the arrival of such sites as MySpace and Youtube, bullies are turning to the high tech world of the Internet to attack their victims. Hurtful email messages, embarrassing posted photographs, and basically setting people up to look foolish are all trademarks of this new source of bullying.
While the differing types of bullying have been outlined, the next obvious question is who are the bullies? Also, who are their victims? Essentially, bullying can occur anywhere…it does not just happen at schools, although that is the focus of this article. Workplace bullying is rampant and is just as harmful and insidious as schoolyard bullying. There can be little doubt that it is a societal problem. Basically, people who are bullied typically will withdraw from their confrontations when they are faced with conflict. The social isolation they experience makes them very easy targets. Often afraid to address the problem and seek help, the victim will withdraw and suffer in silence. The bullies on the other hand typically have one major and shared characteristic…they lack empathy. They have a huge problem identifying with others and understanding how they feel. If they were able to “stand in the victims shoes” for a minute, the odds are great that they would cease their destructive behaviour. Instead, they lack the needed empathy and desires the power that accompanies the bullying. Before we begin to look at how to address and hopefully reduce this problem, we must look at the last group who are involved in bullying…the bystander. In truth, the bystander plays a HUGE role. The bystander is basically the onlookers who witness the incidents and either overtly or implicitly encourage the behaviour. Without these individuals watching the incident, the bully has a limited audience and is not as likely to engage in the negative behaviour. By standing by and watching a victim be bullied, the bystanders are playing a huge role in the perpetuation of the problem.
With all this information in mind, we may now ask how do we stop the bullying. In truth, I am not sure if you can ever really stop it. It has been around forever and probably always will be. However, I do believe you can drastically reduce bullying, and help a lot of people in the process. Ideally, what are needed are strategies which help the victims…and also the bullies. Since we know that not all people bully for the same reasons, we must consider that point when selecting strategies to help these individuals. Sample strategies to help the bully are listed below:
1. Provide positive social role models2. Provide leadership opportunities3. Social skills programs4. Engagement in cooperative learning5. Celebration of positive success6. Development and engagement in empathy programs which focus on role playing7. Closer interaction between family units and the school8. Social learning activities
While some, all, or a variety of these factors can help the bully, we now ask how do we help the victim? Afterall, they have done nothing to deserve their lot and should be the primary concern. Listed below are some strategies which should be applied when helping the victims of bullying:
1. If a victim comes to you for help, this is a major event. They are often afraid to do this for a variety of reasons so their concerns must be addressed quickly and adequately
2. Victims may be afraid of retribution for “ratting”. Make sure that this fear is recognized and addressed. The victim should know that they can come back to report any further incidences at any time. Build that trust
3. Self-esteem and assertiveness training can be very helpful
4. Encourage the victims to always tell a person who is in a position of authority to help
5. Always keep records of the children who have been bullied, and those who have bullied, actions taken, and who was communicated with (e.g., the parents)
6. Make sure to follow up the situation and offer assistance if needed
All in all, bullying is a societal problem which has existed for some time and continues to exist today. However, the extent and nature of bullying has changed somewhat in today’s society. Technology has been recruited to help in the oppression of individuals. Cyber bullying is by far the most pervasive and intrusive form of bullying to emerge. We as a society need to do our best to erase these types of abuse. The only way to do so is to keep informed about the issue. Afterall…knowledge is power!